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Sherlock fic: Synthesis [COMPLETE]

Callous and Strange
Synthesis (40011 words) by LapOtter
Chapters: 15/15
Fandom: Sherlock (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Additional Tags: Aphasia, Brain Injury, mute!Sherlock, Angst, Hopeful Ending
Summary: syn·the·sis [sin-thuh-sis] /ˈsɪnθəsɪs/ noun, plural syn·the·ses.
1. the combining of the constituent elements of separate material or abstract entities into a single or unified entity ( opposed to analysis, ) the separating of any material or abstract entity into its constituent elements.
2. a complex whole formed by combining.
a·pha·sia [uh-fey-zhuh] /əˈfeɪʒə/ noun.
1. the loss of a previously held ability to speak or understand spoken or written language, due to disease or injury of the brain.

So this is finally done. Ten months, forty thousand words, five drafts, four betas, and fifteen chapters later. Okay. In alphabetical order, thanks be unto:

The Antidiogenes Club
Dee-Natsuko
HiddenLacuna
Lestradesexwife
PrettyArbitrary
Scarlett
thisprettywren

and YOU. Yes, you. Thank you for reading. Thank you for sticking with me this long. Thank you for clicking 'Kudos' and leaving comments, and thank you even if you haven't clicked 'Kudos' or left comments.

There are short stories in this 'verse that will be released someday, but I am going to be glad to take a break from this story for a while, so I can't promise that it will be anytime soon.

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Sherlock fic: Forever (Or Until I Get Bored)

Callous and Strange

Fandom: Sherlock
Rating: Teen & Up
Pairing: Gen
Summary: The human pulled back, turning to go around Sherlock. Sherlock put himself in the way again. Its chest was heaving now, and it lifted one hand to press over its nose and mouth. Its movements grew sluggish, and despite its struggles it slowly started to sink again as Sherlock watched.
Its eyes locked on Sherlock's. They were blue, and pleading. Its free hand stretched upward as it sank, toward the surface. Toward Sherlock.

This was inspired by PrettyArbitrary's gorgeous mer!Sherlock art, which ASDFJL IS FOR ME. ♥♥  Thanks to Teahigh for the brainstorming and beta!

There is more planned, but this section can stand on its own.



( Fake-cut to AO3 )

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Meta: Asexuality and Fanfic

Callous and Strange
By [personal profile] teahigh and [personal profile] lap_otter

Asexuality and Fanfic
Otter and Tea are two (of the many, we're sure) members of the Sherlock fandom who consider themselves to be in the grey-area of asexuality. Being grey and being in an environment that is full of awesome, sexy, smutty fanworks, it may beg the question (and in some cases, has done) why we're even here if we're asexual. Surely we can't get any enjoyment out of these fanworks, right?

Wrong. This is a little meta post written by the two of us that explains why – and how – we're still able to enjoy explicit fanworks despite being on the asexuality end of the sexuality spectrum. Perhaps many of these feelings are feelings you yourselves share. Perhaps this will provide insight to how people who don't necessarily consider themselves sexual can still enjoy fics that feature heavy sexual undertones or even explicit sex scenes. Mostly, we just thought it was interesting, and maybe you will, too.

We'll start with brief introductions:

Otter: I'm grey-a, which covers a wide spectrum of possible identities; for me it means that I don't experience attraction to people, but that I do have a libido and I do have sex with people (well, I say "people"; really just the one person). I'm only just becoming comfortable with this identity after struggling with it for several months, and I read sexy fanfiction.

Tea: I also consider myself in the grey area of asexuality. I’ve identified as an asexual for a few years now, but only just recently started identifying as “grey area.” I have little-to-no sexdrive (0 - 1. 1 is on a good day) though I am capable of feeling attraction, albeit rarely. I also read (and occasionally write) sexy fanfiction!

Otter Says:
Most of the fanfiction I consume, and (so far) all of the fanfiction I create is sexy in one way or another. In most cases, sexy fanfic isn't about the "sexy," for me. Or, well, it is, but in a different way. As I said, I do have a libido, but the experience of reading and enjoying a sexual fic, even if I find it sexy or arousing, is completely different from my experience of arousal in other contexts. Although trying to find words for HOW exactly it's different is proving damn near impossible. Which, in fact, is okay; sexuality is bound up in a lot of questions, and in my experience, as soon as you think you've found the answers, the answers and/or the questions all change into something entirely different. It's okay not to know.

I say this all the time, and I usually attribute the quote to John Green, but a Google search only turns up me, so maybe I made it up. Anyway the quote is "Fiction is a gateway to understanding reality." Most commercially published fiction doesn't do much to address sex, or if it does, it does so obliquely, shallowly, or shamefully. Fanfiction is a place where many people feel safe to express desire and explore kinks, and the same is true of me: empathy and fanfiction allows me to explore my own (a)sexuality in a safe and healthy way, with friends and a community there to support me.

Tea Says:
I have been asked about my sexuality both offline and online - online almost always in fandom communities. A question I’ve heard a few times now is, “Why do you read/write explicit fanfiction if you don’t like sex?” Despite my lack of interest in engaging in sexual activities, I still find sex fascinating (and also a little gross, because I am secretly eight years old. But also because sex kind of is gross if you think about it.)

The type of fanfics I read and try to write often revolve more around relationship dynamics than the physical act of sex itself. Obviously sex will usually play a large part of this. I enjoy fics with less-than-good relationships, or relationships I would never, ever want to be in, because I find them more interesting to read and write and at times can connect with them better than the everything-worked-out! ones (not that those ones are bad, and if I’m in the right mood I really enjoy them.) My experience in relationships is verging on non-existent, and my experience in good, healthy relationships is zero. I like exploring how relationships can change when you throw physicality into the mix. I also think, in a way, exploring fictional characters’ sexuality is a way of sort of exploring my own, or working out my own. In writing fanfic I have learned how to communicate with potential partners about what they can expect in a relationship with me, and how I feel about sex. It is, admittedly, something I’m still working on and still learning how to do, but I feel I have a clearer idea of how to approach it now, and I owe a lot of that to both reading and writing fanfic that explores not only sex in general, but a character’s sexuality.

Although I tend prefer plottier fics in which sex may feature, I do sometimes read fics intended specifically to arouse. The odd time I do read one, it’s mostly because I need help writing. Reading different sex scenes helps me develop my own characterizations and writing skills when it comes to writing my own sex scenes, what I think will work for them in my fic and what won’t.

However, I can enjoy reading explict sex scenes because I enjoy reading about these characters in situations we don’t get a chance to see. I like reading what is different from Fic A to Fic B, and if and how they both still read as in-character. These characters are fun and interesting, and also I do find them attractive (I think I’m forever doomed to have a bit of a girly-crush on Sherlock Holmes.) While I might not necessarily get off on reading explicit sex scenes or PWP, I do enjoy reading different interpretations to sexual situations with these characters that - as far as we know - don’t engage in sexual activity with one another.

We Say:
People outside of fandom seem to struggle with the concept of fanfic. Talking to people who don’t read or write it, we’ve often heard “But it’s just porn!” and while that can be the case, there are fics ranging from gen to explicit that explore much more than “just porn”. Sex is a huge part of a lot of people's lives, and it can shape a character, how they feel about themselves, how they feel about others, how they feel about their situation and circumstances. It's also a way to communicate that is unlike any other form of communication. And while we enjoy fics that are written solely with the intent to arouse, fandom and fanfic is a lot more than that and allows people to explore relationships, sex, creativity and any number of other things with characters they recognize, which means it can be appealing to everyone, no matter what their sexuality (or lack thereof) is.

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New podfic!

Callous and Strange

Title: Aftershocks
Author: [personal profile] mijan
Rating: T
Fandom: Star Trek 2009
Pairing: Jim/Bones
Length: 16 minutes 19 seconds
File size: 14.95 MB
Summary: Jim feels the aftershocks of a command decision.
Reader's notes: Well, this is more than a little overdue. (All my podfics are more than a little overdue. I'M SORRY EVERYONE.) There are some places in this one where I think it turned out brilliant, and some places where it's clearly still lacking. But, as with every creative endeavor, it was a learning experience, and a lot of fun! Also, in trying to do McCoy's voice (yeah, I did an accent, I'M SORRY AGAIN), I've had to face up to the fact that yeah, I do have a bit of a Southern accent. Whether that's due to the year I've lived in the South, or if it's a lingering remnant passed down to me from my grandparents through my mother, I'm not sure.' I might put up a blooper reel later, which will mostly consist of me practicing McCoy's accent by drinking beer and then saying "Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor not a _____," with the blank filled by various other fandom references including "time lord," "consulting detective," and "wizard." But don't hold your breath.


Aftershocks on AO3



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I podficced!

Callous and Strange
Title: Rows With Chip-and-PIN Machines (Part 1 of An Experiment in Empathy)
Author: belovedmuerto
Rating: G
Length: 1 minute 23 seconds
Pairing: John-centric Gen; series includes epic John and Sherlock friendship and just a smidge of romance
Summary: There's a reason John gets into rows with chip-and-PIN machines.
Notes: This was a LOT of fun to do! EiE is one of my absolute favorite fics in this fandom and Muerto has never written anything I didn't love, so eventually--slowly--I intend to podfic this whole series. BUT DON'T WAIT FOR ME. Go read it!

On Tumblr to listen without downloading - On AO3 to leave kudos - On Soundcloud to listen or download MP3

-----

Title: Serviceman
Author: PrettyArbitrary
Rating: R
Length: 7 minutes 6 seconds
Pairing: John Watson / OMCs
Summary: Don't you dare look down your nose at John Watson for his service. He's proud to be an army omega. You'll never know how good he has it.

(100% non-problematically consensual and non-angst-ridden omegaverse. Because I could.)
Notes: So apparently this is the second omegaverse podfic in this fandom ever. OOPS. Okay so there are a lot of issues with omegaverse fic, and it is kind of a weird thing, but this, if you ever give any omegaverse a chance, it should be this one. PA has put a TON of thought into this world, and these fics (that is, Serviceman and its sequel, Pro Bono) make that clear.

On Tumblr to listen without downloading - On AO3 to leave kudos - On Soundcloud to listen or download MP3

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Oct. 2nd, 2012

Callous and Strange


I don't usually get Potter fandom feels; the transition from 'the biggest non-family thing in my life' to 'that's over now' was so gradual I never felt it. And of course, it's never over, not as long as I have the Internet.

But this song is giving me all the feels. Remember the Remus and Padfoot cosplayers at the ball at Terminus? Remember breaking the hotel with the Harry and Draco song? Remember the reading of Eclipse that extended past its scheduled time, so we all went to hang out in Mijan's hotel room and she gave away her original drawings? Remember stocking the goodybags for the H/D meetups but still being surprised and excited to open them? I know I'm getting my con memories mixed so let's move on. Remember when Per Solum Lacuna was still a WIP; remember how excited we got over each new chapter? (That's a five freaking hundred thousand word story, holy crap!) Remember how embarrassed we were to admit we were reading porn while underage?

Harry Potter hasn't been my primary fandom for a while, and it wasn't my first fandom or even the first fandom I was passionate about, and now that Sherlock, it's not even the fandom I have been the most passionate about. But there's never been and there never will be anything like it. No matter how far I roam, Harry, I'm coming home.

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THORI-FUCKING-UM, PEOPLE

Callous and Strange
Source: Snapshot of deaths per terrawatt-hour

Energy Source -- Death Rate (deaths per TWh)

Coal – world average -- 161 (26% of world energy, 50% of electricity)
Coal – China -- 278
Coal – USA -- 15
Oil -- 36 (36% of world energy)
Natural Gas -- 4 (21% of world energy)
Biofuel/Biomass -- 12
Peat -- 12
Solar (rooftop) -- 0.44 (less than 0.1% of world energy)
Wind -- 0.15 (less than 1% of world energy)
Hydro -- 0.10 (europe death rate, 2.2% of world energy)
Hydro - world including Banqiao) -- 1.4 (about 2500 TWh/yr and 171,000 Banqiao dead)
Nuclear -- 0.04 (5.9% of world energy)

SEE ALSO:
Thorium as a secure nuclear fuel alternative
China bets on thorium (Watch the video!)
Hank Green explains thorium on SciShow

AND ONCE YOU HAVE ABSORBED THIS INFORMATION:
tell me why the fuck we aren't pushing thorium as a viable energy source?

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Molly Hooper

Callous and Strange
So apparently I've decided to do a series of meta posts about Sherlock characters. Up next: Molly Hooper! Totally not in the same format as the Irene post because my thoughts on Irene are much more solidified.

Okay so let's take what we know for sure about Molly: She's shy. She's awkward. She likes pink and sparkly things and kittens. She's a coroner or medical examiner, which means she's had some serious schooling. And she has some serious empathy.

But she asks Sherlock to coffee anyway. I think she knows she's shy and she's accepted it, and she doesn't let it stop her. And frankly I think that's a more impressive kind of boldness. Like, it doesn't take courage to do what doesn't frighten you. For the record, I am of the opinion that Sherlock knew exactly what she was asking, and was a total dick about it in order to discourage future advances. Which didn't really work out for him, if he is to be believed about the smokin' hot dress she wore to the Christmas party in S2E01. (Which I, frankly, don't believe that he is: I think she is perfectly capable of wanting to be smokin' hot without wanting to, like, seduce anyone.)

I think she realized from "black, two sugars, please; I'll be upstairs" that nothing was ever going to happen--and I think that she realized that not because Sherlock wasn't interested, but because she decided that despite his cheekbones and his frankly delicious neck, he actually is rather a dick, and she deserves better than that. I don't think that stops her from having a massive crush on him, but it is possible to have a crush and not have any real desire to engage in a relationship with someone. (Would that my 14-year-old self knew that. Which is funny, because my 11-year-old self was totally down with that idea.)

So I think that she's shy and awkward, and I think that she's, like, made her peace with that--she's decided (quite correctly) that shy and awkward is an okay thing to be. And I think it's that acceptance that lets her do things like wear a smokin' hot dress to a Christmas party at which she doesn't want to seduce anyone.

I don't think her approaching Sherlock in S2E03 had anything to do with the fact that she has a massive crush on him, I think it had to do with the fact that she has empathy and respect for him and realizes that he is a human being who might need some emotional support, and I think she realizes that he's not getting it anywhere else.

I want fic where Molly Hooper is just, like, a fucking badass. A shy, quiet, insecure badass who likes pink sparkly things and kittens. Because I believe that she is that badass! You just only ever see her in the context of Sherlock being dismissive towards her, and he never thinks to imagine her complexly. And I want to make it clear to the world that you can be a shy quiet woman who likes pink sparkly things and kittens, and still be a rock-solid badass.

ETA: An interview with Louise Brealey! I think she's kind of amazing!

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Irene Adler

Callous and Strange
Sooooo I love Sherlock. But... this episode bothers me, a bit. Let me see if I can explain. Trigger warning: Discussion of rape culture under heading 2b.

1. The Role of Women
Let's take a look at the women of the show, shall we? Sally Donovan: a woman in a traditionally male job, that's cool. Of course, she's also a raging bitch, so that's a bit not good. Molly Hooper: she must be intelligent, she's a freakin coroner, that takes some education. But she also melts into a puddle of easily manipulable goo any time Sherlock so much as smiles at her, so that's a bit not good. And then Irene Adler. Duplicitous. Manipulative. Highly sexualized, and, of course, the bad guy. On the surface it seems like she exists to belittle and crush men; in reality, she exists to serve them. Um. Really a bit not good.

Let's summarize: we have a bitch. We have a woman helpless against her emotions. We have a manipulative, lying thief. I don't see any of these characterizations as being particularly kind to women.

2. "I Knew What He Liked"
2a. Why, when she's using this line to describe how she got secrets out of high-ranking government officials, doesn't she ever say "I knew what she liked?" Aren't there any women in top spots?
2b. Really, we're just going to paint men everywhere as being completely susceptible to a pretty woman who knows his kink? Seriously? Even Sherlock is treated this way. It's this social narrative that men can't control their desires that leads to rape culture and victim blaming: "oh, he couldn't help himself, he was a man, she shouldn't have dressed like that." NO. MEN ARE CAPABLE OF CONTROLLING THEMSELVES EVEN UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF AROUSAL.

3. BDSM
3a. IRENE ADLER IS A VERY BAD DOMINANT. I would in fact venture to say that were she a real person, she would be a person who DOESN'T ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT A DOM IS. (Since she's not, I'm going to have to assume that Moffat and Gatiss are the ones who don't know what a dom is.) Here's the thing: she makes a routine habit of betraying the trust of her clients and stealing their secrets, and then blackmailing them. (Yes, it is blackmail, no matter how many times she calls it 'protection.') Does she think that because they're paying her to dominate them in bed, it's okay for her to dominate the rest of their lives, too? There's no trust here, is the thing; if she actually took her role as a dominant seriously, she would NEVER break the trust of the people she tops.
3b. "I've used it on loads of my friends" "Be careful he doesn't pass out, choke on his own vomit" ...Okay this might just be me, but I don't really see what sort of potential sexy use a drug that makes you pass out and/or vomit really has. Not to mention the consent issues involved in drugging your sub, or if your sub asks for it, the safety issues.

...That's all I can think of right now. I feel like I was more articulate than I expected, but I'm not sure that I was as articulate as I'd hoped for.

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AND OF COURSE

Callous and Strange
The day I get my H/C bingo card is the day I promise to write gratuitous sick!John fic for my lovely aisai scarlet_malfoy, and "minor illness" ISN'T EVEN ON MY CARD. WHAT.

Fandom: Sherlock (TV)
Title: A More Important Case
Warnings: None
Rating: G I ACCIDENTALLY NC-17
Wordcount: 1557
Status: WIP
Summary: John is sick. Sherlock, of course, knows it before John does, and is ready for it. Can currently be read as gen, bromance, pre-slash or slash, but that will probably change.

( Fake cut to AO3! )

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